I grow tired of writing this blog now, so allow me to summarise the next week and a half as briefly as possible.

Tuesday 15th – I nearly step on a snake on the way home from walking Gaia. Stop texting in the jungle, George.

Wednesday 16th – Jenn takes me aside at breakfast and jokes that the park can stop ordering tucumanas when I leave in two weeks times. Little lord Piggington has been called out and he does not like it. Luca and I spend the afternoon standing in the rain fashioning a new ball out of vines for Kusiy. When I return to camp, several ants start biting my feet whilst queueing for the showers and I swear at the jungle in a fit of rage.

Thursday 17th – The vets like to keep tabs on the animals poop. This is (I hope) to monitor their health. Today, I spent ten minutes digging around for Gaia’s turds. No luck.

Friday 18th – Today, Gaia poops in front of Aeddie and I. I wrap it in patuju leaves and present it to Victoria the vet. I feel like God. We head to the cafe in the evening and enjoy games of cards whilst being plagued by black wasps. If you chop one of these villains in half, their arse will still wiggle around trying to fight you.

Saturday 19th – Once again, Cleo did not sleep last night.

Sunday 20th – Luca discovers wild jaguar prints around the perimeter of Kusiy’s enclosure. He seems to have not noticed that he has had a visitor. Two new volunteers arrive out of the blue from Germany – Lottie and Aaron. With Aeddie leaving in a week, I suspect I will be joining forces with one of them.

Monday 21st – The turtle comes back to bully Kusiy. Luca carries the turtle away into the jungle.

Tuesday 22nd – Lottie joins us on our walk with Gaia. She will be my new colleague. This means that in a few days time, I will be exclusively working with Germans. I came here to practise my Spanish… On the way back through Gaia’s swamp, my leg lands in a surprise hole and I take a sudden plunge flat on my face. A dignified introduction. 

Wednesday 23rd – Crystal drops bread on the floor and goes to bin it. I, a man not afraid of germs, become the gleeful recipient of extra breakfast bread. A group of us spend the afternoon clearing Katie the jaguar’s trails. This is disgusting, sweaty work, but Cleo rewards us with ice cold coca cola. We also finish slightly early and miss the shower queues.

Thursday 24th – Ana Lu and Jenny from the UK partner charity join us seeing Kusiy today. Kusiy gets a bonus egg and the turtle comes back AGAIN. This week, we are taking Friday off instead of Saturday and head into the town to celebrate Cleo’s 30th. Whilst we are at the restaurant, I leave the bathroom and slip over in an epic enough fashion to completely wreck my phone screen. We then head to the laguna and get bevved up.

Friday 25th – Unsurprisingly, Cleo has not slept. Though, today, her excuse is valid. In an attempt to get a piggy back off of Matt at 3am (with or without informing him first – it remains unclear), she fell to the floor and smashed her foot hard on the ground. She then went off to the emergency unit on the back of a motor taxi. Now she is on crutches. We order a taxi for seven of us to head back into town. Instead of one vehicle, they send six motor taxis. It’s a sketchy journey.

I am now entering my final week here.