It’s about 10am. Somehow the music is still playing? Despite having my own room with air con, I have not slept well. I decide to get up and head back over to the laguna for some water (it is not advisable to drink the brown water from the tap). I arrive and additionally order a coffee and some empanadas. I then head over to Cleo, who is also already up, and it would appear, the source of the music. After only a brief exchange, I realise that she is still wasted and has, in fact, not slept at all. We chat and she commandeers my phone to call our friend Karen. I watch in fear as she dances on the slippery stone patio right by the edge of the body of water. Fortunately, she only loses her balance once and falls flat on her arse, my phone still safely in her hand (and a bottle of beer in the other). I relieve her of my mobile and head over to the sitting area for my civilised, but highly greasy breakfast. As I am dining, several others arrive at once, including Luca. This group chose to stay at camp last night and have already been into town to do their shopping. I am no longer the most sober person here. Abbie and Bex then arrive, preparing also to head into town early and do some necessary shopping. Their day has already been full of adrenaline, with their shower having exploded whilst they were using it. I slept in their room a fortnight ago. It does not shock me that this has happened. The machine was making some fairly discomforting noises as I was using it. They head off on motor taxis and I am left to my thoughts.

Today is 5th April. Tomorrow is the four year anniversary of when we lost mum. It has been nice to have a day off to take some time to reflect. I look at old photos on my camera roll and read some old diary entries that I had written at the time. Joe calls and we have our first catch up in a month, reflecting on the events of the past. Abbie and Bex then arrive back from Guarayos. I haven’t told them the significance of the day, yet in their kindness, they deliver me a bounty of fresh fruit from the markets. We then eat and relax as the sun rapidly sets.

The taxis arrive and it is time to pay. I owe 236B. I ask laguna man if he has change and he says “no”. Useful. I  let a few people go ahead of me and then find two hundred bills, a fifty and three twos and hand them over to him, expecting a twenty back. He looks confused at the fact that I have overpaid him and keeps sliding a 2B coin back to me, whilst digging around for a twenty. This is bad math. I allow him a few minutes with his calculator to figure things out, before vacating with my change. With two taxis and a few of us keen to do some shopping before heading back (not me because of my delightful  fruit delivery), we accordingly split, and I head straight to camp. On this particular journey, the driver does not decide to fill the fuel tank up a few miles into the ride. Lucky us.

We arrive back at the park and dig into a fairly subpar meal that has been left for us. I then take myself over to the Fumador for some alone time. It’s 9pm, which means that it’s 2am on 6th April back in the UK. Four years ago exactly since mum found her peace. I play some Queen on my phone and enjoy spending some time with mum.

It’s Sunday 6th April. Aeddie and I are ready at 7am, but Adi arrives late, not realising that we are walking Gaia this morning. The tardiness provides me with the chance to call Auntie Fiona for a catch up and reflect upon the events of four years ago. Adi then hastly gets herself ready and Fiona and I continue chatting as I trail behind my colleagues, heading into the jungle.

We meet Gaia and Aeddie takes the ropes for their first time. We then return to the enclosure and Adi wanders off into the jungle in search of vines, leaving my new cat walking buddy and I in the company of Gaia. We do slow laps of the enclosure and get chatting with each other, opening up about our lives. They’re the first person I’ve told here about mum’s passing. It is the most defining part of my life. I feel like it has completely changed me as a person. The absence of mum in my life defines me, yet I hate having to mention it to people for the first time. There is never a right moment, so I keep it to myself. But today, in this moment, it feels right, and Aeddie responds perfectly – not making a huge thing of it, just listening and acknowledging it. I can tell that they’re a wise person and I look forward to learning more and more about them and their life in the weeks to come.

Adi returns with the vines for enrichment. It is her last day of work today. We leave her to have some alone time with Gaia and walk back to camp. I make use of my early arrival by calling Tony and Tom and Fran for a catch up, who are marking the day in their own special way. We then eat lunch and I use my last half an hour before the afternoon shift to chat with Uncle Bruce, then Rosie. It is a sunny day today, overwhelming so. Four years ago in Sussex, it snowed.

I stroll into the jungle with team Kusiy. He has a surprising amount of energy today given the heat and Luca gets to experience the contagious delight of our jaguar pal as we race around the perimeter with him. We then head home and part ways as I stop in the animal kitchen to clean the meat bucket. I then find Luca sat on the steps outside looking for Mario. They have to do the compost task together this evening and it is always advisable to do it before your shower. With no sign of Mario, I offer to show Luca the ropes to save her waiting. Mario, having missed this on the task whiteboard, kindly offers to do dinner com, my evening task today, instead. What a hero.

Dinner finishes at 7:30pm, as always, though today, we need to wait a little longer as Crystal arrives with an exciting announcement. After every session with our cats, we fill out a little form to log how they have been getting on. With the printer having been on the blink and having received no fresh forms since the start of the month, Crystal has re-invented how we do things. From now on, we shall be filling out the forms as a Google Doc on our beloved smartphones that, for better or worse, have followed us into the jungle. This place really has modernised since my previous visit. Just in the short time I have stayed this time around, I have witnessed the arrival of Starlink. Everyone has a go at filling in the forms before dissipating off in various directions for bedtime. Once again, I take myself into the Fumador for some alone time. I look up at the stars and listen to some Freddie Mercury.